Blood Bowl 2 console players get shafted… (Warning: Profanity)

Hey guys. Just a quick update in order to help work out some anger regarding some downloadable content for Blood Bowl 2. I’m still working on my review for The Ninja Crusade RPG 2nd Edition by Third Eye Games, just taking a bit longer than planned thanks to work and the fact that I’m currently having to read it on my phone, which makes for slow going.

Anyway, onto the rant, which I decided to do in the form of an open letter to Cyanide Studio (the developers) and Focus Interactive (the publishers). Fair warning, there’s profanity aplenty.


An open letter to Cyanide Studio and Focus Interactive RE: Blood Bowl 2 DLC

Hi to whoever ends up reading this at either of the above companies (I’m hoping against hope that it actually makes it to at least one of you),

I’m a long time fan of Blood Bowl. I’ve sunk a stupid amount of time into the first game, and I play at least a few matches a week in Blood Bowl 2, so long as work and other commitments allow it. I’ve been really looking forward to the new teams, especially once I’d heard that hey, if you already owned the game when they came out, they were meant to be free. So I was super excited when I decided to check in and saw that the Norse had finally been released. Right up until I actually read the update. To quote the bit that concerns me:

To respect the PC players of the first Blood Bowl game, which accumulated 23 races through 3 paying editions – we have heard their frustration – we decided to create the FOUNDERS INCENTIVE for PC players of Blood Bowl 2: players will receive the Norse, the Undead, the Necromantic and the Nurgle teams for free, as long as they purchased the game before the races release.

I’m sorry, but “to respect PC players of the first game”? Fuck that noise. I’m one of those players. I’ve paid for every goddamn edition of that game on PC, even after I bought the console version and realised what a shitty game it was, because I was willing to trust that the PC version was better (which it was, though that’s not a very fucking high bar to set). I was running leagues up until last year when the last of my players jumped ship to Blood Bowl 2. So I got it on PS4 for a few reasons:

  • My PC wouldn’t have run it at any reasonable quality
  • My setup here is awful for PC gaming (I don’t have a desk or anything I can sit my keyboard and mouse on, making it a real hassle to play)
  • I knew I’d have some guaranteed opponents amongst friends who bought it on PS4

But hey, to hell with my loyalty to the series, I’m a filthy console gamer, so instead of getting the same teams to the PC players get for free, I’m expected, along with all the other console players, to pay out the arse for the teams. They’re over $10 AUD each here. By the time the 4 new teams are out, I’ll have had to shell out nearly $65 for them and the original two DLC teams. That’s a goddamn joke. I mean for fucks sake, if they’d at least been priced reasonably, I wouldn’t be anywhere near this angry. But I can fucking well buy brand new AAA games on day of release for what I’d have to pay to get these teams that you’re just handing out to PC players. I’m not kidding, I bought Doom and Uncharted 4 (one of the most highly anticipated games of the year) for less than $70 AUD each.

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Tinkergoth’s Guide to Concert Etiquette (Warning: Profanity)

Hey everyone. It’s been far longer than I’d wanted it to be before I posted something, but the truth of the matter is that I haven’t been gaming much at all recently, and am in fact taking a bit of a break from Pathfinder while I deal with some personal stuff. Additionally, the Canberra International Film Festival starts next Friday, meaning that any posts I make in the next three weeks or so are more likely than not to be related to that (my next post will in fact be a list of which movies I’m seeing, but in the mean time feel free to check out the program at www.ciff.com.au). Twenty three films in just under three weeks is a bit of a time sink, but hey, it only comes around once a year.

Anyway, let’s get onto the topic at hand. I went and saw The Tea Party at the ANU Bar tonight, which made me so, so happy, especially since The Superjesus were one of the support acts. For those of you who don’t know, The Tea Party are a Canadian rock band with a unique eastern influenced style that often gets them referred to as Moroccan Roll. They’re one of my favourite bands, have been since a family put me on to them when I was quite young. The show was, as expected, amazing, and they played almost all of the songs I wanted to hear (the only ones missing were Cathartik and Walking Wounded). I met some awesome people, rocked out and generally had a fantastic time. Walked out thankful that they’d finally got back together so that I had an opportunity to see them after all these years.

Unfortunately, as is often the case at shows held at venues like that (smallish university bars), some people can’t just enjoy the music, they have to ruin it for those around them. I kind of expect a crowd to get a bit rough at metal shows and so on, but for bands like The Tea Party it just ticks me off. Particularly when some lovely older woman who’s obviously a long time fan has arrived early to get a spot near the front with her husband and friends, and gets harassed badly enough that she ends up leaving in tears twenty minutes into the main act. So I’ve decided that I’d try to share some information about etiquette at gigs, which will hopefully educate and enlighten some people (not bloody likely, but it’s been way too long since I’ve had a rant, and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity). Obviously when I say “you” in the following rant, I’m not referring to everyone. Just the idiots who behave this way. Also, second and final warning, profanity is on the way.

So, buckle up ladies and gentlemen, and prepare yourself for…

Tinkergoth’s Guide to Concert Etiquette

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The Good, the Bad, and the Goddamn Moronic

Alright ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Strap yourself in, cause it’s time for a rant, and I’m good and properly pissed off. So much so that this is my seventh, that’s right, seventh, attempt at writing this. Every other attempt has degenerated into nigh incomprehensible streams of bile, rage and profanity… I’m hoping I can avoid that this time. Be warned though, there will still be some profanity, and plenty of rage.

So, this was meant to be posted last Sunday. Oh I had lots of plans for what to write about that weekend, like reviews of various movies/books/anime, or a discussion of a new World of Darkness game I’m joining and the character creation session we had for it last Friday. But on Saturday I noticed something while I was in JB HiFi picking up a game which confused me… the updated version/remake of Altelier Rorona: The Alchemist of Arland, had been rated R18+ for Sexual Violence. I was honestly puzzled, as I own the original game (also on PS3, same as the updated version), had only warranted a PG rating. “Surely this must be a mistake,” I thought. Got online when I got home, did some searching, and found out that not only had Atelier Rorona Plus been rated R18+, but so had the remake of the sequel, Atelier Totori Plus (which was released for PS Vita) had also been given an R18+ rating, for the same reasoning.

What. The. Fuck.

An image from this clearly horrifically adult game...

An image from this clearly horrifically adult game…

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Professor Jimbles Presents! A Rant: Does anyone else die a lot?

Like, a real lot?

Hi! Jimbles here to ask a question of you: How often do you die in your games? All the time? Occasionally, but only because you make stupid decisions?

I can tell you that I die all the time in Pathfinder, but it’s generally my fault. Whenever I develop a high-concept character with tragic backstory and a good reason to set out adventuring, I often forget that ever so important stat keeping most of us alive… The armor class.

That, and I roll terribly when someone’s life depends on it.

Aside from the misadventures in the Crow (See earlier post for THAT particular embarrassing tale.) I’ve had characters die in the following ways:

  • Battle Toad (Boggard Barbarian Chieftain) exacted revenge with a warhammer for causing general chaos in the area and invading his shrine.
  • Lich fingered me to death in a oh-so-calm response to taking 38 damage from my surprise round greatsword attack.
  • Teleport mishap sent me to the Elemental Plane of PAIN. (Fire burns!)
  • Learned the hard way that Black Puddings are not delicious.
  • Felled by the Orc Hireling in a single strike.
  • Crushed by a brainwashed dragon after a Sudden Maximized disintegrate missed.

And that’s just in my Pathfinder and 3.5 games! Here, let me explain some of these stupid, stupid adventures…

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For a supposedly Final Fantasy, there sure are a lot of them…

So, I’m currently working on a campaign journal for the Reign of Winter game, but it’s taking me longer than expected to get used to writing in character again. So, it’s going to be a little while on that one.

In the mean time, I thought I’d talk about one of my favourite RPG video game series of all time. From the title, I’m assuming you guessed what it is, but just in case you missed it, I’m talking about Final Fantasy. I know a lot of my friends have made the obvious “It’s not really a final fantasy if there’s so many of them” joke over the years. I don’t know how true it is, but what I heard about the name was that the original creator of Final Fantasy had intended for it to be the last game he made, his literal “Final Fantasy” game. When the game was unbelievably successful, he decided to continue on.

Anyway, let’s have a retrospective look at the Final Fantasy games (at least the ones I’ve played).

Final Fantasy VII:

The cast of Final Fantasy VII

The cast of Final Fantasy VII

I grew up playing these games. Sure, not from the very first one, since my first gaming console (if you don’t count a Commodore 64) was the original PlayStation, which I got in 1997. So my initial introduction to the series was, as I’m sure it was for many others, Final Fantasy VII… and man, it blew my mind. Here was a Science Fantasy story that rivalled the novels I’d been reading for how sheer bloody epic it was, except that this time I was in control of the action and pacing. Sure, to actually complete the story you had to take a set path, but I was free to explore the world and hunt for secrets and mini-games to my hearts desire. When you did decide to finally get back on track, the game was a rollercoaster of action and story. There were moments of victory, like stopping the train before it destroyed the town of Corel; and there were incredibly sad moments as well. The fate of Barrett’s childhood friend Dyne, after he realises that his daughter is still alive and he’s too much of a monster to ever be her father again, was a shocking moment for me. Even more shocking was the end of Disc One, where you catch up to Aeris again (yes, I’m going with the original mistranslation of the name, because that’s what I’m used to), only to have her killed in front of you by Sephiroth/Jenova. I’m going to be honest. That’s the first time a video game has ever made me shed a tear. It’s happened on occasion since then, but it’s a rare thing. Even movies can’t manage it all that often, though books do it surprisingly regularly.

Since then, there’s been a number of spin-offs from Final Fantasy VII, including movies, books and games. The ones I’ve seen and played have been pretty good, including Crisis Core, an action-RPG for the PSP; Dirge of Cerberus, a third person shooter featuring everyone’s favourite optional character, Vincent Valentine; and Advent Children, the direct sequel film. Little hint with Advent Children, unless you’re watching the Complete Edition, don’t bother. It makes much more sense with the huge amount of extra footage. Sadly, the one thing we haven’t seen, and that I doubt we’ll ever see (though I’d love for Square Enix to prove me wrong) is a HD remake of Final Fantasy VII.

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Quotes.

I keep a list of quotes on my phone. They’re gathered by me or my friends and added in one by one. They’re usually created during roleplaying sessions, as we have a tendency to say stupid or hilarious things.

I like this idea. Moments of hilarity can fly past. They cheer everyone, raise spirits and generally make lives better for a moment, but they’re fleeting. Transitory. Some could say all the more precious because of that. I prefer to think that moments like these can be re-celebrated! Sharing a list of hilarious statements can reignite this joy and share it to others who weren’t there in the first place.

Because of this, I have a few of my favourite moments to share. You may not know the names now, but you may know us a little bit better afterwards.

Adam: *creepy whisper* I broke Obfuscate to penetrate you.
Jim: Halp.

(Sigg had a bet that no-one would die.)
Jim: I’m eating a hot-dog.
Bill: Sigg or White will go upstairs and check the rooms.
Angus: Sigg can go upstairs, I’ll eat a hot-dog.
Jim: *sigh*. I get no successes. Too busy watching White eat my hot-dog.
Angus: it’s delicious.
Jim: I breathe on the window and write “I will kill you.”
Angus: I SMS him back “You will owe me $20.”

Michael: Did anyone bring a ten-foot-pole?
Evan: No, but I have rope and a wheel of cheese.

Jim: But the rule book is nice, has great art and stories, so it’s not a chore like others can be.
Ben: Like Deathwatch. Which is pretty, but so disjointed that you think you know what the rules are but can’t find them anywhere. Leading to the conclusion that what everyone thinks is a ruling is actually a shared hallucination about a book.

Ed: I punch him in the face.
Katie: Whyyyyyy?
Ed: Because I’m a very angry person who can only express myself through violence.

Kane: And I would have had the computer too if it weren’t for those meddling orbital lasers!

David: You have arrived into the astral plane of “All the porn on the Internet.”
Kane: Not my fault.

Chris: Battle plan!
1: Cast heart strings.
2: Cast friendly face.
3: Yell “Don’t kill me, I’m an orphan!”

Listening to: The rain on the deck, trying to sleep.

Hell Is Where The Heart Is…

Evening ladies and gentlemen. Tonight’s topic isn’t quite what I had planned, but unfortunately my original topic was kind of jolted out of my head by a near miss I had on the way home from work yesterday. Thankfully I came out of it unscathed, but it was a close one. Without going into too much detail, I’ll just say that having someone decide to change lanes right in front of me on a goddamn roundabout isn’t something I’d call fun, especially in wet weather.

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